Some people are having problems recording profiles with Vooji. I do not want this to happen, here’s how to fix it.

When you click to record your profile you’ll see this Flash pop-up.

Don’t panic. Click ‘Allow’ and you should see your webcam image and a flickering line of red bulbs whenever you make a noise. If so great, everything’s fine, if not put your mouse over the gray video box and right-click. You’ll see a menu, select the “Settings…” option and you’ll see something like this:

Choose the webcam tab (shown above) if it’s not selected already. You now need to select your webcam from the menu. If you have a Mac, like me, you might have a few. Your iSight cam is called “USB Video Class Video” for some reason only Adobe understands. Choose that and you’re webcam tab will look like this:

Now all you need to do is click close and you should see your pretty mug and be ready to record. If you don’t have a Mac, or this doesn’t work, repeat the steps and select each of the cams in your list in turn until one starts working. Remember to close the Flash pop-up, your changes won’t have any effect until you do.

Great – I look forward to seeing your profile, and all your potential dates do too (next week!)

Still having problems? Let me know.

Sam.

Vooji’s a work in progress and we’re always working on rolling out improvements and tweaks. A couple of people have said:

“I love the design but I think other people might not.”

Does anyone who doesn’t like the design care to tell me more about why? Anyone who loves it keen to do the same? I’m listening.

Thanks to your feedback we’re already working on ways of making recording a Vooji profile easier. Until those changes are in place I’ll tell you that the ‘Photo’ button, which looks like a Polaroid, allows you to shoot a new photo to go along with your profile. Be default we choose an image from halfway through your profile. If you don’t like the automatic selection just click ‘Photo’ and take another.

Not recorded a profile yet? What are you waiting for…?

You can now record a Vooji profile in advance of the beta opening. This is a good idea because:

1. You’ll get to secure the account name of your choice (that can include spaces too).
2. You’ll get $10 in credit as a thank-you
3. You’ll be guaranteed a beta invite
4. Being first is cool

The profile set-up form is here. It takes less than 2 minutes, try it on for size.

The Times has a piece about self deprecation which has interesting implications for online dating.

It suggests that self-depreciating comments are attractive when they’re obviously untrue. I.e. If you say “I must look terrible”, when you don’t, you’re drawing attention to your good looks and that makes you seem more attractive.

Online it’s hard to know someone’s attractive (this doesn’t apply to Vooji which is based around video profiles) so self-depreciation won’t work in a positive way unless you can clearly show that self-depreciating comments are act of humility, not statements of fact.

The challenge then becomes finding something to show off about which you can deride. That’s pretty much the English national character. No wonder I used to do so well online…

I met my wife on Craigslist. It was an accident as I was doing research on launching a dating site and couldn’t resist her ad. I wasn’t supposed to write back to anyone. The research consisted of placing bogus profiles, for both men and women, to see what worked best. When people responded I’d explain the project and ask them why they wrote back. Many of them swore at me or threatened some sort of fantasy legal action. The others taught me the following:

1. Post a decent photo
I know your mother told you that looks aren’t important but she was lying because she loved you. A man’s photo should be clear, shirt-on, not taken in front of a mirror and not an actors headshot.

If you can post more than one photo it’s even better. You’ll seem more real, and can prove you were not only halfway goodlooking for 1/50th of a second in 2007. Don’t crop out any exes, or scribble over their eyes in ballpoint, it’s code for “I live in crazytown”.

If you’re a man, any women seen in a photo with you will be assumed by some to be your partner. The more ridiculous that seems to you, the worse it’ll look to the people you want to date. Same thing for kids, people will assume they’re yours and, even if they are, why are they in your personal ad?

Women have to account for men’s visual bias. If you post a photo of a sunset, bunny or other cuteness men will assume you’re too hideous to be seen. If you post a photo which is a minute crop of a much larger image we’ll assume you’ve edited out the 400lbs of you which make you ‘cuddly’. If you post photos where the camera appears to be about to go spelunking in your cleavage we’ll assume you want us to look. Being wary of posting photos online was sort-of reasonable in 1999 but in the age of Facebook it’s ridiculous. You’ve nothing to loose, no-one’s going to write back just to insult you.

Beautiful women have another problem. Spammers long ago worked out that a gorgeous woman on a dating site would draw thousands of responses and thus beauty became associated with spam. Now real models, actresses and gorgeous people have to work on appearing genuine, luckily it’s not hard. Avoid posting professionally taken photos, or couple them with candids. If you look to good to be true you’ll be treated as such. Make sure your photos aren’t suspiciously cute. Spammers use sex-appeal to sell so include something less flattering just because a spammer never would. Don’t worry about not looking your best, you’re gorgeous remember?

2. Learn HTML
Craigslist has a crappy ad upload form. If you don’t break your paragraphs up with code everything you write will appear as a single, huge, block of text. Start every paragraph with <p> and end it with </p>. You’ll then join the elite 5% of posters who don’t share a writing style with the unabomber.

3. Write more than one paragraph
90% of spam posts on Craigslist have a single image and a single 3 or 4 line paragraph. If you avoid this pattern you’re less likely to be ignored for being a robot.

It’s also worth avoiding the OWEN MEANY STYLE BELOVED BY PEOPLE WHO FORWARD RELIGIOUS EMAILS. Also feel free to go easy on the poetry. Most good poetry’s hard work, yours is likely to be… just don’t.

4. Show don’t tell
Many personals read like lists of specifications but marketers know you don’t by a product for what it is, you buy it for what it does.

Apple don’t publish frequency response charts for the iPod because it’s not important. They tell you how it’ll make your life better and more fun. Personal ads are the same. Who you are, what makes you tick, and why you’re fun to be involved with are far more important than your height, weight and eye-color. (Do you really want to be involved with someone who chooses their partners based on eye-color?)

Write about the things you offer instead of the things you want and don’t waste any time talking about the kind of people you don’t want to hear from. If you get unwanted responses you can ignore them but, to exclude people arbitarily in the beginning will make you look angry and fragile. It’s more fun to choose from the responses you get than to wonder why you’re not getting any responses.

5. Don’t post too often
A lot of people spend a lot of time cruising the personals. If you search for specific phrases, or visit regularly, it can be easy to skim through 3-4 days worth of posts in a single session. If you post too often potential dates will notice and file you away as desperate. Posting once a week is good. Posting once every two weeks is better. If you follow the rest of this advice you won’t be short of options.

Any other tips? I’m always interested?

This blog will dissapear for a couple of hours in the next 24 as we rejig things so we can launch our site. Exciting stuff. Sorry for any inconvienience caused.

Mark Andrew responded to personal ads and invited the posters to sit for him. The photos, along with the personals, are now online.

What’s interesting to me is how much more you learn about someone from a good photo. In fact, you can probably tell most of what you need to know about a potential date based on the photo alone. I guess they really are worth a thousand words.

So after many months, I’ve finally accepted that the chances of me finding a cool, single girl to hang out with are nil where I work. Why you ask? I work for NASA and its all dudes. FML.

Also… I don’t have a car… (But I rent one every other weekend so I’m transiently mobile)

And I can’t dance…

Figured that would make a few people hit the back button, but if you’re still reading, thank you!

So, I’m a huge science nerd (and love being one) and I’m looking for someone who’s laid back but passionate about living life, loves traveling and trying new things. I really enjoy live music, art shows, and tons of weird cultural stuff, but in no way am a hipster. I’m not looking for an LTR because I’ll only be out here till the end of June, but have no qualms about short term, and would be totally fine with just platonic. I’m pretty laid back and open minded and like meeting people who have different life paths and philosophies then I do, so I’m not necessarily looking for another science geek, but of course you have to be ok with me being one…

I love spirited conversations (some people call them arguments, who knew?) and I’m not looking for a girl who’s waiting for some guy to come along and make her whole, I’m pretty confidant with myself and I hope you are too.

Anyways, I just noticed this was all over the place, but if anything you read made you go “hmm..” then shoot me an email and a clear pic (just to weed out women who could be my mother and creeps) and we hopefully we can hang out.

Oh, and also, I’m 6′1″, half Cuban and half Irish, and have green eyes.

Winner, winner, chicken dinner! This gent’s a force to be reckoned with.

His answer to the obvious question (“What’s a nice guy like you…?”): “I work at NASA and it’s all dudes,” is simultaneously boastful, interesting and impressive. The “FML” capper’s a nice touch and stops him from sounding unwittingly pompous.

Being upfront about not having a car saves time, and mentioning he’s a nerd is both redundant (he works at NASA) and valid because he actually qualifies (every ass now claims to be a nerd, it’s shorthand for ‘I think I’m smart and sensitive’). Wisely he doesn’t exclude anyone while describing what he’s looking for. Cute women can be picky upfront online because they get 10 responses for every one a guy sees. Men have to be inclusive.

His supplemental photos are excellent too. This is guaranteed to raise an “Ahhh.”

And who hasn’t wanted to date a stock-photo before?

The last line about his exotic heritage is great. One more way to say there’s more to him than meets the eye.

Suggested improvements:

Not everyone knows what FML stands for so be prepared to answer questions from the curious (and lazy).

Re-word the section dealing with the type of relationships you’re open to. To a lot of women the ‘term’ of a ’short-term relationship’ is assumed to be one-night, and thus to be avoided. If you just want to meet people and see where it leads say that instead of listing potential scenarios. It’ll sound relaxed instead of desperate.

The ‘clear pic’ requested is redundant. Though lots of people send ‘arty’ blurs but it’s easier to ask for something specific (“Send me a picture of you smiling/laughing/having fun”) than writing you’ll filter responses by photo for creeps. What does a female creep look like? Anything that may dissuade a response is bad. Don’t force people to hesitate before writing back.

See the original profile here

Why am I on Craigslist? Well, allow me to tell you about the last few men I dated:

#1 still lived with his mother. Instant fail. That never went anywhere.
#2 had a girlfriend that he denied having, and invited us both to the same party on the same night. Hah! Cuz you know, *that* was gonna turn out well. (it didn’t)
#3 had herpes. I found out when he invited me over and I opened his medicine cabinet to find Tylenol…and instead found Valtrex. (thank gawd I never went there)
#4 was a complete sociopath. And of course, he was the only one I actually got involved with.

So, with that in mind:

-I’m a totally petite and cute and slender little goth -type chick and I get still consistently carded when I buy booze. Less “goth” and more…industrial – anime.
-Spent some time as a professional model. Not the tall skinny clotheshanger type…the short curvy fetish type.
-I don’t have any children or other sexually transmitted diseases.
-I listen to punk rock and goth and electronica and industrial and trip hop and other stuff you’ve never heard of if you wear polo shirts.
-I hate potheads!!! And I’m a non-smoker so I think dating smokers is gross, too. I’m entirely drug free, but I’m quite lushy on the weekends.
-I dye my hair black and have piercings but no tattoos and I have a professional job and don’t sling coffee or work in a record store and I clean up like a total super villain.
-I am super duper offensively politically incorrect. Sensitive people and I do not get along for long. Take note now or forever hold your peace.
-I guess I should add that I’m a white girl with some Japanese blood? Probably not, cuz then the sharks *really* begin to gather…
-I collect graphic novels and play video games.
-I am an unrepentant atheist
-I read. Voraciously.

And if you:

-caN tYpe aN eMaiLz wIthUt bEinfg rEytArdUd cUz u DuNt geT tHis whoEle coMpuTer tHienge
-Still have all your hair. ALL. Not ‘most’.
-Are not a decade younger than me (I ain’t a cougar yet) or a decade+ older
-Are not fat or chubby or whatever other euphemism for it you prefer
-Do not have an excess of Tom Selleck-style body fur because seriously, wrong decade.
-Have far too much black clothing in your closet
-Are more or less a white boy
-Are not married or involved or pining away or living with your mom and you do not have kids because I don’t need your baggage in my life kthx
-Are not a bicycle-riding vegan superhippie
-ARE 100% OVER YOUR LAST EX.

…then you should maybe consider emailing me.

The photo’s the first thing anyone looks at in a personal and this one’s great. There’s a significant hint of Beatrice Dalle in her pose and style, matched to crappy image quality that reeks of authenticity. If you’re good looking you need to work extra-hard online if you want people to think you’re real. Job done.

She’s smart enough to answer the most obvious question first. What’s she doing here? Her admission of repeated romantic failure is cute – though as someone who was once prescribed yeast infection medication for atheletes foot, point 3 is a worry.

Listing facts in her profile could be considered lazy but it’s far easier to read than prose riddled with tortured segues. Short is good. She gives respondants a lot to talk about and a good deal of information. She’ll be very easy to respond to and will thus get good responses.

Ending with a list of negatives is risky, but she’s generally funny about it, and it reveals as much about her as the people she’s trying to meet.

She’s going to get swamped.

Suggested improvements:

Modify the third point of the introduction. Make it seem less like a snap judgment. A lot of people won’t want to meet someone ready to dump them without recourse over the content of a cabinet. All men know women snoop but we hate to be reminded of it. Like picking your nose allow us to pretend it never happens.

Reconsider “…more or less a white boy…” If she’s a racist, and won’t date people she pre-judges based on skin tone, the photos she receives will allow her to make those decisions. As it stands, the phrase is vague enough to dissuade anyone who’s not 100% caucasian (like her) from responding. There are white guys who she might like who will be put off by a comment than can be read as small-minded and/or hateful. She’s in San Francisco, California , not Birmingham, Alabama after all. Either way, it narrows her pool of respondants and reflects badly on her, she loses.

Original profile here