The OKCupid blog has some casual research on the things that get the most profile responses in their system. The obvious winner is missing – a fantastic photo – but I guess they figure you’ve either got ‘the look’ or you haven’t.

Their other points are more interesting but I disagree with some of their analysis. Here’s an alternate take.

1. Be literate

They say: Netspeak/textspeak are a turn off (excluding “haha” and “lol”).

We say: Only Prince can get away with texting abbreviations in email.

2. Avoid physical compliments

They say: Saying “You’re gorgeous” is “icky”.

We say: Saying “Your’re gorgeous” is both insincere, based on a photo, and obvious. Don’t.

3. Use an unusual greeting

They say: “Hi”, “Hey” and “Hello” are all bad online openers.

We say: They don’t work because the messages that follow them are normally devoid of all original thought. Surprise people, pleasantly – and they’ll return the favor.

4. Don’t try to take it outside

They say: Don’t share email or phone numbers too soon.

We say: …because it’s spamy and desperate. You’re already on a dating site, play a little bit hard to get just so the people you’re meeting can retain a little dignity.

5. Bring up specific interests

They say: Discuss shared niche interests, show you’ve read their profile.

We say: Be interesting and demonstrate you can talk about something other than yourself. Passion – about anything – is attractive.

6. If you’re a guy, be self-effacing

They say: Vulnerability is attractive.

We say: Confidence is attractive and confident people can admit their weaknesses without feeling diminished by them.

7. Consider becoming an atheist

They say: Being an atheist is way more potent than declaring a religious affiliation

We say: Have you seen truly devoted evangelists? It’s not sexy. Additionally, as a relatively small slice of the population, atheists are likely to be highly responsive to anyone who won’t try to convert them.

You can read the full report here

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