Three things women dating online need to know
As part of my endless quest to identify the perfect approach to online dating – for both men and women – I keep a number of profiles active on a range of sites.
Posting as a woman is easy, guys are desperate, but getting women to write to a guy is a challenge. I get 10-20 responses a day from women wherever I post, and hundreds for a woman. After a lot of research and practice men are looking at 10 times fewer replies, if they’re lucky. Amazingly, after putting so much effort into getting women to write, the responses women send to men are generally awful.
Allow me to share a few tips that’ll help female online daters stand out:
1. Say Something
Women are so used to being pursued they often feel uncomfortable making the ‘first’ move (even if responding to an ad is a second move, it’s just that the first wasn’t aimed specifically at you). There’s nothing less appealing, and harder to answer intelligently, than an email which only contains ‘Hi’ or ‘Loved your ad’. As a rule, try to mirror the type and quantity of information in the ad you’re responding to. If questions have been asked – answer them. It’s a conversation.
2. Be Positive
Women are often inundated with responses to their ads which range from thoughtless to creepy. It’s not hard to understand how dating makes people jaded. That said, if the first thing you say to a guy includes references to the assholes you’ve dated/spoken to/married previously, you’ll sound bitter. “Finally, an intelligent profile from a decent guy,” is much less a compliment than “Your profile’s really smart and you sound like a nice guy.” Assume we’re the man of your dreams, not the guy you dumped for sleeping with you mom.
3. Don’t Lie, Don’t Explain
Guys aren’t nearly as dumb as sitcom writers make us appear to be and online dating is no longer the preserve of Trekkies and criminals. Prefacing a response with a flowery genesis story – “I was just borrowing my friends computer, and she’d opened this dating site when I saw your profile…” – is redundant BS. You wouldn’t respond to someone approaching you in a bar with a lengthy explanation of what brought you there, it’s just as out of place online. Embarrassment isn’t attractive.
When dating it is important to think up an interesting profile, most people start with the wrong foot right there.
It isn’t easy to describe oneself and many end up writing what seems like a CV.
And the wrong user name can put people right off too, names like “lonelyGal” or “Mark328″ don’t do anything for you and that’s the very 1st impression that will stay forever.
Something like “GreenEyedSouthernGuy” will tell them that you have green eyes and come from the south, so any girl from the south will feel a connection, and the ones who like green eyes will feel an even stronger connection.
Photos are very important, too and people either don’t use them or they use one very tiny, taken with their webcam :)
There are tons of areas where people can work to improve their chances, if only they gathered a little info about it all before jumping into it!
Whatever the case, practice makes perfect!
have fun.
So, basically, all of the online dating tips apply to both men and women? Now, that’s really useful. Thanks for sharing this!:)